Sunday, April 15, 2012

Fortune Telling Fish


Not too long ago my room mate's friends came down for a weekend. We all had a grand old time (with some craziness mixed in, though that's too long of a story) and at the end of the weekend, one of the girls gave my room mate and me Fortune Telling Fish. A proud product of Pier 1 Imports (a furniture/home goods/decorative items store), the Fortune Telling Fish comes in a little plastic envelope which warns you that it is not a toy (Fortune Telling Fish are a serious business you guys, note the capital letters) and that it is not intended for children under the age of eight years. Essentially, this Fortune Telling Fish is a piece of red plastic film, cut in the shape of a fish (vaguely reminiscent of Swedish Fish). You put it on your hand and it's supposed to move. Based on its various movements, the fish can tell you your fortune...er sort of?


It's a miracle!

See, there's problem number one. It is erroneously called a Fortune Telling Fish, when it really only acts like a mood ring (let's suspend some of our disbelief here as to the realities involving pieces of plastic that indicate your fortune and rings that tell you what your mood is, as though you don't already know). Each of the various movements such as “moving head” indicate feelings, rather than a fortune. So a moving head means jealousy. That doesn't quite make that a fortune. A fortune is more along the lines of “It's time for you to explore all those new interests” (fortune from one of my actual fortune cookies; yes I collect fortune cookie fortunes).

 It's doing strenuous ab exercises.

The second problem has more to do with vague language. So, all right, I will disregard the mistaken labeling of “fortunes” for this fish, but then the descriptions should at least be good. But they're not. Some of the fish movements are indicated as “turns over” and “curls up entirely”. But when you actually put the fish on your hand, it pretty much goes through variations of all of the motions described, so ultimately, you end up being jealous, indifferent, in love, fickle, false, a “Dead One”, and passionate. All the the same time.


Oh, boy! So much variety!

The problem lies not in the fact that I am taking life advice from a fish made of plastic film, but in the fact that it's infuriatingly inaccurate! And, you know, it misuses the English language and misleads the public!

But what can you expect from a 25 cent Fish. Though really, I don't see how it could possibly be even worth that much.

And despite the 448 words that I have just written degrading the Fortune Telling Fish, I still very much appreciate the fact that my room mate's friend thought of me at all. So thanks, Melissa.

Images courtesy of:
http://www.fortunetellerfish.com/images/fish11.jpg
 http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_gXbaFEuH5uc/THr7E_axceI/AAAAAAAAAHQ/FmxctcA9QXo/s1600/IMG_2795.JPG
http://www.fortunetellerfish.com/images/00230.jpg

1 comment:

  1. A perfect addition for the impulse buy section at the check out line! ^_^ While it is really goofy when you think about its' simplicity (paper and a bit of plastic that isn't of particular quality, just really clever) I can see the kids I babysit insist on buying one. In fact, even though it really isn't considered a toy, I could see them play with one of these longer than an actual toy. It just reinforces that if you have a good use or personification of something, you can take any chunk of junk and make it a money making hit. :D

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