Vera Abaimova: Studio (E-Portfolio)

My E-Portfolio, all new and shiny-like.

Introduction:

The artist's studio is her space to think, to learn, and above all, to create. It is a very personal space that is often a reflection of the artist not only in relation to her work, but also of her as a person. In some cases, it can even function as a gallery showcasing the artist's work and progression.

In many ways, this e-portfolio is like my artist's studio, though it is considerably less messy and haphazard than a physical studio would be. Here is a collection of works, written, spoken, and visual that both highlight my knowledge of rhetoric and reveal some things about me as a person.

Fortune Telling Fish

Not too long ago my room mate's friends came down for a weekend. We all had a grand old time (with some craziness mixed in, though that's too long of a story) and at the end of the weekend, one of the girls gave my room mate and me Fortune Telling Fish. A proud product of Pier 1 Imports (a furniture/home goods/decorative items store), the Fortune Telling Fish comes in a little plastic envelope which warns you that it is not a toy (Fortune Telling Fish are a serious business you guys, note the capital letters) and that it is not intended for children under the age of eight years. Essentially, this Fortune Telling Fish is a piece of red plastic film, cut in the shape of a fish (vaguely reminiscent of Swedish Fish). You put it on your hand and it's supposed to move. Based on its various movements, the fish can tell you your fortune...er sort of?

It's a miracle!

Reading is...

…a good thing. We have been told this for the entirety of our school careers and beyond into higher education. Reading opens doors into the mind, fosters creativity and open mindedness, and enhances our knowledge of various topics. The bad side to reading.... well, I can't really think of one.

So easy a cavem-- I mean, a child can do it. Or in this case smart baby.

For me, reading is a relaxing activity to be done when I'm finished homework (or when I'm avoiding homework) or just because, when I want to escape from my own life for a time and focus on someone else's struggles for a while. I read a lot of fiction and my favorite genres include science fiction and fantasy, though generally I will read just about anything. I've even been known to read a nonfiction book or three. But in general, I love reading stories about adventures, especially when my own life seems so mundane in comparison. Go to class, do homework, rinse, repeat. Reading does a great deal to break up the monotony. It is a calming activity that inspires me.

Spelling Errors of Epic Proportions

Spell check has greatly improved our lives. It has allowed us to completely disregard all rules of spelling when doing our assignments, which has greatly simplified our lives! Knowing how to spell has become obsolete!

Why should we even bother learning how to spell if a machine can do it for us? I think the future is also quite promising. Soon, we won't even need to think for ourselves, our robotic overlords will do it for us!

Yarr....

But unfortunately, such great technological innovations aren't of much use for “human-centric” arts, such as tattooing. Which for many is quite a shame. Tattoos are permanent, which can be scary for some, but I think they can also be an exquisite art form if done well. But the really scary part is if you want to get a tattoo that has words. Here are some fine examples of such tattoos:

Devious Little Imps OR This Is Not a Conspiracy

Have you ever been to CVS, looking for your specific brand of whatever (skin care products, hair products, etc.) and after making your purchases discovered that instead of what you went in there to get you actually purchased a CVS lookalike? Isn't that just the worst feeling of disappointment ever? I think yes.

 It is really important to pick the best quality chocolate coins. Seriously.

It's a rather devious tactic used by CVS to create their own brand of the products that people know and love and then specifically design the packaging so that it looks almost exactly like the name brand products you were probably searching for. And if you're in a hurry or weren't paying particular attention and just grabbed whatever bottle or box looked familiar, then you might find yourself disappointed with your purchases.

“Frankly My Dear...”

“...I don't give a damn.” You know this quote because it is famous and not only that, but over the years it has become quite iconic. But can you name which movie it came from? I can. It comes from Gone with the Wind, the film adaptation of a novel by the same name. But my knowledge ends there because other than the fact that Clark Gable's character says this to Scarlet O'Hara, I have absolutely no context for the quote because I have never seen this movie.

 Not giving a damn must be nice.

There are other iconic film quotes out there. “I believe this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship” came from the movie Casablanca. And while I've actually seen this movie and know the context for the quote, there are plenty of other people out there that have not seen it.

Reversal Demon And The Primo Heathen

There are some pretty ridiculous band names out there. Some of my favorites include Throw Me the Statue, Fall on Your Sword, and The Phenomenal Handclap Band. And there are plenty more out there, these are just ones I can think of off the top of my head. So why all the weird names?

 The delightful ABBA.

I think that there are two factors at play here. One is originality and the other is...originality. Let me explain. There are an awful lot of bands out there, which means that an awful lot of band names are already taken. If you're a band on the rise I guess you could use your own names, but even those can repeat. I heard somewhere that David Bowie is not actually David Bowie, but had to change his name because some other famous singer had his real name (Davie Jones or some such; I'm not particularly familiar). And if everyone just used their given names for a band title, not only would that result in a super long string of names (for everyone in the band, naturally), but it would also get super boring.

Language Oops, and Some More Serial Killers, and the Spoken Language, and Other Stuff Too

Ever have one of those moments when you intend to say something and it sounds right in your head, but when you say it out loud it just comes out all wrong? This is the land of the “that's what she said” jokes and endless mockery from friends, naturally. I have fallen victim to this myself, like the one time I was debating whether to say “hold your horses” or “chill out” and I ended up saying “chill your horses.” That might not sound funny to you now, but I guess it's just one of those “you had to be there” things. And I do this all the time. Perhaps the reason I have so many language blunders is because English is my second language, though considering how long I've been speaking it, maybe I'm just an awkward person.

But I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one. Like this entertaining image I found on tumblr some time ago.

So I guess this also applies to the malleable nature of Wikipedia.

I'm Not Really a Rhetorician

I'm not particularly girly about many things, though nail polish is definitely one of the few exceptions. I tend to love colors that are dark or rather unusual and although I like to think that I am not attached to any particular brand for any sort of products, I do have a soft spot for OPI, when it comes to nail polish.

I think one of the best things about OPI is the creative names of their nail polish colors. And that's really why they can charge almost nine dollars for each bottle. Sure it's a well designed and esthetically pleasing bottle, but the polish itself is probably very similar to some other, less expensive brand. But it's the names that get me.

Nerdview? Or BS?

This man is Charles Dickens and the relevance of this will become clearer a bit later on.

I recently read an article on Language Log about the use of “nerdview” in a British article covering the recent murder of a young man. The Language Log article talks about the British article's use of the term “bladed items” over the use of the layman's term of “knife”. The article goes on to give more context on the usage of the term, citing it as a use of “nerdview”, when the language reflects the way an expert views something, that is, technical language used in a context where the audience is composed of people who are not necessarily experts on the subject. So “bladed items” was not simply an elitist use of the English language.

Quotations and Serial Killers

A couple of classes ago we discussed the structure of a speech. One component of the speech is the introduction, which requires an Attention Getter, that is, something to capture the attention of your audience. One possible Attention Getter is the often-used quotation. Why do so many people like quotations? Well, they are things said by famous people (usually), and we generally tend to like famous people. But let's turn our attention to quotes that are not necessarily geared towards public speaking.

I am a particular fan of quotations, but not only the kind that comes from famous people. I also like the ones said by the wisest of all people – Anonymous.

I Believe in Nancy Drew

Accuracy, and Passive Voice, and “Grammar Nazis”, Oh My!

I recently read an article online about the use of passive voice. And the article was really interesting in that it criticized the critics of passive voice. Or rather, what the general public has come to perceive as the passive voice.

Now, my own connection, if you will, to the concept of the passive voice goes back to my junior year of high school, when I became the editor-in-chief of our school's newspaper. We had a new adviser that year and she had more journalistic tendencies than any of our previous advisers. She taught me that in journalism, passive voice is to be avoided like the plague (likewise with the cliches). Why? Well, because passive voice is weak, whereas active voice is powerful and portrays interesting action, which is necessary for a newspaper. So in my editing I became more watchful for passive voice, though I couldn't help but continue believing that if it read well, that is, if it sounded good, should it really matter if it was passive or active?

French Songs

Let's talk about some French songs. Because, hey? Why not? Recently in one of my French classes we examined a song entitled Le Déserteur, by Boris Vian. This is an anti-war song, composed during France's war with Algeria over the French colonization of that country. Here it is:

These are the lyrics, translated into English:

Sh*t Everyone Says

Lately a meme has been going around the interwebs, the prime example being "Sh*t Girls Say". The easiest way to explain what a meme is would be to say that it is a formulaic joke that acquires its humor based on the assumption that your audience knows why it is so funny. Incidentally, the term "meme" seems to come from enthymeme, a rhetorical tool that leaves out the commonplace in order to let the audience plug in their own experience.

Now, let's take a look at an example:

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Videos like this are funny because assumptions are made about the target audience and experiences that they might have had.